So as I’m sat here trying not to fall asleep with my nose on the space bar I thought I’d do a little post about poxy snoring!If like me,you spend most nights trying not to bludgeon your hubby (or wife, or any other for that matter) to death with your favourite shoes (tip – use the Primark daps) then I totally feel your pain!
I’m talking the kind of snoring that could wake the dead,that you can hear through the floor if you think “sod this for a laugh” and bugger off downstairs to the settee.How is it possible for it to be so bloody loud?!I’ve often wondered if the neighbours can hear it but then I doubt it as they tend to watch tv rather loudly in bed.Which in all honesty can be preferable to Snorting Sid.
My kids are now of the age that aside from staying out too late (the teen) and keeping me up worrying and perhaps waking due to illness on occasion (littler ones) that I should actually be getting a decent nights kip.Fat chance of that.
I seem to end up on the airbed in the kids room most nights, where my 6 year old snores too,mind you,whilst said hubby gets to starfish in the bed by himself and then has the cheek to say “that was an awful night’s sleep” while scratching his arse and seeking out the cup of tea which I will undoubtedly have made him.I,on the other hand,am spooning, no – make that ladling – coffee into a cup and inhaling it.
We have tried everything going to stop it but none of the magic lotions and potions have helped one iota and those nose strips do look a bit stupid – let’s be fair.To be honest I’m quite surprised he has any ribs left with the amount of elbowing they’ve taken over the years and no,that doesn’t work either,well apart from the 3 seconds he stays awake to shout at me for digging him again.Getting him to turn over just makes him snort a bit and start again.
Sales of energy drinks and coffee must be through the roof because of me to be truthful!Maybe I should try and invent one of my own and call it Snoring Stamina,that’s one for Dragon’s Den right there!
So,since we’re not rich enough to own a 10 bedroom mansion where I can have my own private haven I’ll just have to put up with it unless anyone can suggest a magic cure that doesn’t involve smothering with a pillow?!
How do you deal with snoring?Any suggestions welcome!