As a Mum of three,there’s rarely a dull moment!Here’s my list of silly things that remind me I’m a parent!
You put your coat on for the 1st time in a week and find a crushed up Rich Tea biscuit in one pocket and a pile of crispy leaves in the other!
You switch on the TV and automatically scroll to the kids tab on the Sky whether the kids are with you or not.
There are scribbles on at least one wall of your house where one of your
brats sweet children have found a rogue crayon from that time you went to a Harvester 3 months ago. Your children will then blame each for the smashing artwork and it turns out that Mr Nobody did it. I’ve got a few choice words for him about his recent spate of crimes. Bastard.
Your hairdryer goes missing only to be found in your teenagers bedroom nestled amongst the empty pop cans and crisp packets they’re not meant to have in their room. They will then “swear down” they haven’t touched it.
The words “don’t swing the bloody toilet brush around it might have poo on it” have been shouted more than once.
You’ve sat down at the dinner table and realised you’ve got a squashed bean/piece of spaghetti stuck to your bum from the monkey’s tea party an hour ago. And that’s on a good day.
You’ve frantically tried to ram a whole packet’s worth of wipes back in after your little darling has pulled them all out in 2 seconds flat and it’s the last pack on a Sunday evening. Waste not, want not and all that.
You’re busting for a wee and just as you get there, one of the kids runs past you screaming that they need to go. Every time. Then they’ll sit and watch while you go. Doesn’t matter than you have more than 1 loo they’ll always want to use the one you’re in.
You nip out the kitchen for a sneaky Jaffa cake to find a perfect bite out of each one.
You lose your keys down the side of the settee and when you try to fish them out you find a Minion rubber, Emmett from the Lego Movie and one of the syringes from a bottle of Calpol.