Reasons I Gave Up Drinking!

I just can’t handle it any more I’m no good after a drink and here are the some of the reasons I gave up drinking!

1. I slipped on a slug barefoot after taking off my ridiculously high heels that I was unable to walk in after a shandy (or 12).

2. I pissed all over my flip-flops after hiding in a bush when REALLY desperate. First and last time. Believe me!

3. I was sick all over myself in the back of a taxi. Too drunk to move and do it out the window. Amazingly the taxi driver didn’t even notice!!

4. I worked up the courage (not really hard when you’ve had a few) to ask out the bloke I had a crush on in school – only to be turned down flat. Oh the shame!

5. I got asked to leave a nightclub after my (female) mate threatened to “knock that effing blokes teeth out” after he randomly came over topless and blind drunk and tried to do a pole dance on our table. There was no pole and he was no Channing Tatum, lets just say she wasn’t impressed with him falling in her lap!

6. I pretended to my poor old Nan that “No I haven’t been drinking” when I was quite blatantly on my hands and knees in the bathroom spewing my guts up!

7. I got what I thought were admiring looks from people in the pub only to go to the loo, look in the mirror and seeΒ the fine rain had made my hair a total frizz nightmare and people were probably trying not to piss their pants laughing! Cheers for telling me girls!

8. I realized that the fantastic game of read the shampoo bottle ingredients isn’t fun for kids and they won’t want to play it for 5 hours on the trot whilst you hug the toilet!

9. I got photos developed (remember when you had to send them off?!) and realised I had no pigging idea who that bloke is with their arm wrapped round me!

10. I’ve spent hours doing myself up only to realise the photos REALLY didn’t do me justice! bored

Unfortunately – or maybe thankfully I don’t have any other photo evidence that I can lay my hands on.There’s bound to be some out there somewhere! Do you have any drunken stories?

julie-x-2 (1)

A Cornish Mum
Best of Worst

32 thoughts on “Reasons I Gave Up Drinking!

  1. I love the bit where you slipped on a slug!! Amazing! I haven’t given up drinking but I certainly do it a lot less these days- the day after just isn’t worth it. I may have thrown up in an umbrella once….not my finest moment!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have not really a lot of drunken stories to share… at the moment, I’m not drinking as much alcohol as before when I was a bit younger. I could actually be sober 365 days in a year if I really wanted to… I know I’m a bit boring, lol #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh gosh – after 4 children, breastfeeding times 4 and a whole lot of marathons i have hardly drunk for the last 10 years. I don’t like the feeling of being very drunk so I’d avoid it at all costs #picknmix

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m seriously bad at handling my drink now i have kids. It’s not so much getting drunk, but I get sick after just a few drinks now. This weekend I’m away for 2 nights with 5 of my child-free friends(aka practising alcoholics) and there’s noway I will be able to keep up! #picknmix

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh dear I don’t remember any more about being drunk. The last time I was drunk was before I got pregnant for the first time and I decided to stop drinking for good and also stopped smoking. Both together. I hated having endless hangovers and I knew alcohol doesn’t suit me at all so I’m much better now without it. Great post! Thanks for sharing, xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You’ve had me giggling to myself reading this!! I’m a real light weight and there are definitely some drunken moments from my teens I’d like to forger. ..and will never tell anyone online :p these days I probably drink maybe twice a year if that?
    I don’t feel I need it anymore, the older I’ve gotten the more confident I’ve become and don’t need it πŸ™‚
    Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix
    Stevie x

    Liked by 1 person

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