I have a naughty fairy stalking me.I must have.If I don’t then I have no idea how to explain the things that go on around me?!
Why do I always lose my phone a thousand times a day when I only just had the bloody thing?!Maybe it’s the same naughty fairy who keeps nicking my phone charger,there’s 6 of them in the house yet can I find one when I need one?Can I buggery.
Why do my jeans always come out of the wash 3 sizes smaller just right to fit a small garden gnome…if I had one of course.Just as they get to be comfy I just have to go and wash them,well I have to unless I want to be avoided like the plague…mind you might stop the kids permanently hanging off my legs.
Why does all the chocolate always disappear overnight from the fridge?Obvs it’s absolutely nowt to do with me but I swear there was a giant Dairy Milk in there just the other day…
Why is it that every time I tidy a room,leave it and go back seconds later to find it like a bomb has gone off?The kids swear it wasn’t them and of course I believe them because they do their best puppy dog eyes and everything!
Why is that EVERY time the kids ask for the iPad the bugger is dead?That bloody fairy has been up all night watching Hobby Kids TV that’s why.I think I’ve heard it so many times I’m hearing it in my sleep but no he’s sat on my settee eating my chocolate and watching Hobby kids get a new puppy!
Why does the toilet seat always have pee drips on it?No-one else did it – honest! – so it’s got to be him.How hard is it to wipe huh you little git?
Why does my teen never want to get up in the morning?He really doesn’t stay up half the night watching crap TV he “swears down” so that fairy must be in there zapping all his energy to use for himself to get up to his naughty antics.
Why is there always loads of washing up to be done even though I did it only 10 mins ago?Helping himself to my grub AND leaving me the dishes?He’s having a laugh!
I know he follows me around because every time I get up from my desk at work the little bugger nicks my pen 😉