Funny how much stupid stuff was rumoured when we were kids and when you’re young you believe all sorts of nonsense. Every school/town/city has it’s own “urban myths” and ours was just the same. This post was inspired by Julian at Northern Dad Blog with his post about school in the 80’s it’s hilarious, have a read 🙂
Crap we believed as kids!
•To get to our school we had to walk through a graveyard (nice) and one of the graves had an angel sat on top. Rumour had it that if you ran around it 3 times it would open it’s eyes. I ran around it 3 times. Did she open her eyes? Search me, I was out of there like a rat up a drainpipe. I wasn’t sticking round to find out. Hard as nails me…
•The cottage next to the school housed a witch. Honest. Mandy’s cousins aunty’s friend told my brother that he saw her warts and all. If your ball goes in her garden and you go in there to get it she’ll eat it. Then eat you. In all the years I went to that primary school I never once saw who lived there. Maybe that’s not a bad thing…
•There were devil worshippers at the tower in the hills. They sacrificed humans so don’t even think about going camping, they’ll dance round a fire with torches and chop random bits of you off. This could possibly be true I suppose but who the heck wants to find out?!!
•The man who ran the local bakery did unspeakable things with his doughnuts. As you do. Poor guy had to get the holes in them somehow didn’t he?! Chelsea buns were ok though. Well I bloody hope they were because I took a bit of a liking to them. They never did me any harm anyway.
•When we went on a school trip -mountain climbing/outdoor pursuits style trip – that involved a stay over, one particular trip had the dormitory backing onto a graveyard (there’s a theme here) and written all over the delightful plastic waterproof mattresses were warnings about the “Black Nun” who of course would get you if you dared to go to sleep. This was written amongst the disgusting “Roses are Red” dirty poems that weren’t in the slightest bit funny 😀 all fun and games til 3am and you’re all terrified to sleep and the teacher wanders in in her best nightie and her hair all over the place. But it’s dark so you don’t realise it’s her to start with so you scream and then she screams because you startled her and then you get a right bollocking for messing about.
•Whenever you went on a school trip (as above) at least 2 of the teachers were having an affair. Whether they were happily married and 1 was at least 100 and the other 30 made no difference, every look, every laugh triggered much elbowing, sniggering and “see, I told you they were shagging” I very much doubt they were though. I imagine they were far too stressed after a day with us little gits to have the energy for shenanigans!
I wouldn’t change it for anything though, it’s all part of growing up isn’t it. Next time you have a doughnut you might want to check the size of the hole the jam comes out of though 😉