Am I too protective?

Today something happened that made me really think about whether or not I’m too protective of my children.Is it society that has made me that way?Is it just a natural instinct?

I was shopping at Asda with my 3 year old daughter,just paying for the items I’d purchased when an elderly gentleman approached us to ask if she wanted to have some of the green tokens they offer to put in the containers for named charities.I thought “ah,that’s sweet” and held out my hand for him to pass them to me.Only he didn’t.He said “come on then lovely” and expected her to follow him,it literally was only a few foot away but I was really torn with hurting the guys feelings and letting her go a few seconds away with someone we didn’t know.

It that few moments so many things went through my head,is it a tactic for diverting my attention so that some big burly bloke can pick her up and run off with her?Bearing in mind the shop was heaving and the exit is miles away from where we were.Was he just being nice and I was just being silly?His wife was smiling at me from across the way and saying “we’re not trying to pinch her”.To be honest they were both in there 90’s and had sticks to help them walk so it’s extremely unlikely they were doing anything to harm her but my mind was still suspicious.

In the end we both went over and I watched her like a hawk while they just smiled and said grandparenty things and I realised they were just being nice.Like the one’s who press 20p into your kids hand and tell them to get themselves some sweets with it.You smile and say thankyou before taking it off them before they eat it!

I think in part my suspicion came from a time 10 years ago when I was taking my then 7 year old son to the dentist on the bus.Started off innocently enough,until he started fidgeting in his seat,so as you do you whisper “stop messing about will you” and my blood ran cold when he came back with “but Mum that man keeps touching me”.I swing round to find some sneering vile excuse of a human being who moved a bit sharpish when he realised I was onto him.On asking my son what had actually happened he said he had been putting his hand through the gap in the bus seat and touching his bottom.WHAT!!!Who the hell does that in broad daylight on a packed bus?!I couldn’t let it go in the end I spoke to the bus driver who looked at me horrified and ordered him off the bus.

It haunted me for weeks,if people could do things like that when you were literally sat next to your child what would happen if you took your eyes off them,even for a second?My son didn’t walk to school by himself til he hit high school,then again neither did I.Yet I see children of primary school age walk home by themselves and wonder if I’ll be more lenient with my other two?Very doubtful I think.

What would you have done?Have you had any experiences that have changed the way you see the world?

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Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday

 

20 thoughts on “Am I too protective?

  1. I would have been the same today too….You just can’t take the chance can you!
    Oh gosh! That incident on the bus….I would have made such a scene that the police were called. How awful! There are some sick people about x

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  2. No I think you did the right thing. The number of child sex offenders about is absolutely shocking and age makes no difference, they can be young lads or really old men.
    When I was 10 I was looking at magazines in a supermarket while my mum was just metres away and an old man moved past me but inappropriately touched my back and bottom as he did. I was so upset/scared/shocked and even ashamed that I never told a soul until a few years ago.
    What happened on the bus is just awful. Some people are sick in the head xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Now you’ve said that I definitely feel I did the right thing.It’s shocking,you think you can take people at face value and you really can’t.It’s such a shame.Even my Dad says he’s had looks when he’s smiled at little ones but he’s done it in innocence as they remind him of my kids.I’m so sorry that happened to you,things like that stay with you for a long time and shape how you feel about others xx

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      • It’s sad really that innocent people like your dad are viewed with suspicion, it shouldn’t be that way but in our society, it is. What happened to me was nothing compared to what some poor kids go through. If we have to be over protective to make sure ours stay safe then so be it xx

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  3. Oh wow that one is eye opening! You know never stop listening to your body it sometimes sees something you don’t. Better to offend someone than have something unthinkable happen.

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  4. Gosh, from reading about what happened to your son on the bus, you have every reason to feel protective! You are not being too protective, you are being a responsible parent. I think what you did by going over with your daughter, but still allowing the couple to help her, was a good compromise, and that little event probably gave them a lot of joy that day. Kathy xxx #KCACOLS

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  5. After what happened to your son on the bus I understand exactly why you acted the way you did.

    I (thankfully not with any serious consequences to date) see the good in everyone first.

    Often my kids have played on the electronic rides at the checkouts whilst we’ve been playing. So far no in savoury incidents.

    I really don’t know what would have happened had that been me on the bus.

    My other half is like you and distrustful of everyone, so it balances itself out.

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  6. I think you did what any mother would have done, if you dont honour your protective insitict you might regret it one day. It is our duty as mothers to protect our children. Thank you for visiting my blog and I really enjoyed reading your posts

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  7. You did what most mums do and that would do to protect there kids. Regarding the bus incident I don’t know if it makes it worse but most serial predictors are people you know. It is horrible in this day and age but remember there are more good then bad in this world X #kcacols

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  8. Ugh, what a horrid man on the bus!!
    I don’t think you were being too protective. I think it’s weird when people invade mine, or my children’s personal space. And to ask a child to go off with them?! I don’t care how old or infirm they look, that’s just not happening! You keep doing you, mama.
    #KCACOLS

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  9. I don’t think you are being too protective at all. I would’ve done the exact same thing. I’m always careful with people because you never know what could happen. They can look very sweet and everything but at the end of the day you don’t know them so you can trust them. So I’m also protective in that respect. And re your experience with that man on the bus, WHAT? This disgusting!! How can someone do that in a packed bus in a daylight! I’m just in shocked! We should always be careful so I think you did what any parent would have done. Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

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  10. No hon I think you did the right thing. To be honest I can’t believe that the old man didn’t just hand the tokens over to you, or your daughter upon offering them.

    Oh my word I’m absolutely horrified that you poor boy experienced, that it is beyond shocking! Who would have ever thought something like that would happen on a packed bus in broad daylight. What a sick disgusting vile man. Xx #KCACOLS

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  11. Wow! How can someone do that?! Your poor son! I would have been exactly like you if that had have been Ellis. I know they’re only trying to be nice but I think elderly people can be as naïve as the child sometimes. When they were younger all these bad things that you hear about now were much less common. Or at least not spoken about as much. You were right to be cautious I think! 🙂 #KCACOLS xx

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  12. Oh my word that bus incident is just awful! I think I would’ve hit him or something, so scary. I don’t think you’re being over protective at all lovely, sadly there are some vile people in this world and since we all get old, so do the vile people.
    Just because someone is old doesn’t mean they’re harmless and we have to protect our babies.

    Stevie xxx

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