Just to add a bit of context to the story it’s set in the 80’s and absolutely not about my brother and I.*
Once upon a time there was a Mum, a Mum who was a little shouty at times but always kind and quick to offer a hug. She had 2 children – Dustin and Juliet. Both were well behaved children, a little silly at times but mostly this was high jinks and ignored by Mum whilst she enjoyed a cuppa in front of TV AM and wondered to herself which hairspray Anne Diamond was most fond of.
One day however disaster struck. Mum wandered from kitchen to living room where a surprise (not a good one) awaited her. For there, on the carpet, was a puddle of bright red blood. Oh dear God almighty! she thought. What on earth has happened here? Who’s hurt and how? She looked around and couldn’t see either Juliet or Dustin and immediately thought they must have been taken. Not that anyone would want to take two kids who couldn’t even look at each other without it being the others fault but you just never know. I suppose Juliet would be ok if you stuck an Enid Blyton under her nose but Dustin could talk the ear off a bronze statuette of Kevin Keegan when he felt like it.
Right, she thought, putting down her cup and fig rolls – she had been looking forward to those but had strangely lost her appetite. She needed to think straight and work out what on earth was going on. She looked around the room, to find any clues. There wasn’t much to go on. A few discarded pictures that they had been drawing before she went to boil the kettle. Well this is getting me nowhere fast she thought. I better check the rest of the house and garden before I call 999. She checked under the dining room table, nope not there, only a few remnants of potato waffle and a glob of what she really hoped were the beefy innards of a Findus crispy pancake and not shit of some description.
Back into the kitchen she went next, in case she’d missed them in her figgy pastry excitement. No sign of them there either, she tutted to herself that she’d left the tea cosy off the pot and plonked the floral wonder back on as she decided where she would search next. “Upstairs it is!” she said, to no one in particular. No one ever bloody listened anyway. She started to climb the brown and orange carpeted steps and soon let out through gritted teeth “shitting hell!” as a sharp pain ripped through the sole of her foot. There, camouflaged in the pattern was Battle Cat’s armour. She’d put it there for the kids to put back upstairs. And had they? Had they hell. She slowly pulled the pointy plastic from her foot feeling like Bruce Willis removing a bullet in a darkened room but this was honestly more painful. Honestly.
Up she limped to the top where it seemed uncharacteristically quiet. Usually there was singing, dancing or fighting but today it was deadly silent. She stood at the top wondering which room to go in first. Since the bathroom was the closest she nipped in there to be met with more red marks around the taps, the sink and the mound of tissue paper discarded on the floor. What the hell? she thought. She panicked a bit, you know the feeling when you’re dying for a pee and you can’t get your buttons undone? Like that.
She quickly leapt into the nearest bedroom – Juliet’s – where it was all calm and clear save for a few My Little Pony’s dotted around innocently. She moved swiftly from there to Dustin’s room where she heard a quiet “shhhhh” from the cupboard in the far corner. She flung open the cupboard door to discover the kids sat with their best ‘I didn’t do anything!’ faces plastered on. “Oh hi Mum, we were just playing um, hide n seek!” said Dustin. “What? Together? In the same cupboard?” asked Mum incredulously. “Anyway never mind that nonsense. Which one of you hurt themselves, I saw blood downstairs on the carpet? she asked. Dustin and Juliet looked at each other and said nothing. “Oh come on, I don’t have time for stupidity, cough up.” “It’s not blood Mummy.” said Juliet quietly. “Well what is it then?” asked Mum impatiently.
“Come downstairs Mummy, We’ll show you.” said Juliet taking Mum’s hand and leading her back downstairs to the offensive stain. “We were playing with the crayons and we left the red on the radiator and it sort of melted. We tried to clear it up and it just made it more messy. We’re really sorry Mum!”
Those little shits! She thought.
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