The Uninterview

If competency based questions were based on parenting experiences, you would surely give very different answers. You’d hire me after this though. Right?

Can you describe a time when you’ve been proactive in finding a solution to a problem encountered by your customers?

One day recently when I walked the customer’s home from school I noticed the girl child was scratching her head. Investigating the cause I found a group of insect like creatures making a new home. I thought logically about it and decided the best way forward would be to take care of the creatures thus removing the itching problem. I bought some lotion sold at a local pharmacy and applied it to her hair and scalp before spending 33 hours combing through. The creatures were completely removed and a the girl child was once more a happy customer.

Tell us about a time when you used written communication to successfully influence someone? How did you go about structuring your writing?

I needed to write my business partner a note to advise him how unhappy I was that he had not picked up his dirty socks from the living room floor, I was understandably annoyed and so wanted to ensure he understood my annoyance. I structured my writing by using a Sharpie and writing in bold lettering “PICK UP YOUR FUCKING SOCKS YOU LAZY ARSEHOLE” and underlined it afterwards so he could be sure I was very serious about what I was asking him to do.

Tell us about a time when you had to sacrifice quality in order to speed up a project.

My customers were very hungry and were wilting on the floor in front of me crying that they were in fact, starving. Rather than make them wait any longer for a vitamin enriched home cooked meal, I removed some fishfingers, waffles and peas from the freezer and cooked them with use of the oven and hob. This made the job at hand much quicker and I had happy, fed customers.

Tell us about a decision you made too quickly and got wrong. What made you take that decision?

At a time when I was very busy I neglected to locate a vomit receptacle for my customer who got terrible motion sickness in my  brand new company car, as I did not find the idea of carrot chunks covering the upholstery particularly attractive the only thing close to hand was my newly bought work satchel. I swiftly placed this under the customers nose. Unfortunately I couldn’t face washing it out and had to place it in the nearest bin. If I could change it I ensure I had a travel box containing plastic bags, wipes and air freshener and maybe a roof box.

Tell us about a time when you had to calm an angry customer.

My customer was very unhappy that they were being denied a Kinder Egg for breakfast and was very vocal about it. I was very aware there were other customers present that could hear and possibly also be upset by the unfolding drama so I decided to take control by removing the customer from the area and taking them through to a quieter stock room where I let them know in no uncertain terms they would not be having Kinder Egg for breakfast and if they did not calm down and be more respectful they would be ejected from the premises on a permanent basis. This had the desired effect and the customer was willing to come to a compromise (of Nutella on toast).

Concentrate on a time when you failed to engage at the right level in your organisation. Why did you do that, and how did you handle the situation?

I tried to ask the other employees not to leave their workstations untidy due to the health and safety implications however they were unwilling to listen despite me repeating the instructions many times. I decided the only way to handle this would be to raise my voice such that they would have to listen whether they wanted to or not. This had the desired effect and all dangerous items were removed at once. Although strangely there seemed to be a lingering smell of poo in the air.

Thankyou for your time.

Julie x (2)

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