The A-Z Of Teenage Boys

Ah teenage boys they really are something else aren’t they? Here’s my A-Z of them, written with the help of the lovely Tracey from Hooks and Dragons.

A. Is for Are you really ready for this? Read this if you want to find out!

B. Is for BAE (Before Anyone Else) Oh how I hate this sodding word but if you wanna be down with the cool kids this is what you’ll call the significant other in your life. I suppose it’s not as bad as some of the names that I call my other half. But bloody hell, surely they could come up with better?!

C. Is for CBA (Can’t be arsed) You’ll hear it at least 400 times a day but only when it involves homework, housework or anything that doesn’t interest them in the slightest. If a mate Snapchats them though, them Vans are on and they’re out the door. Can’t be arsed, my arse.

D. Is for Drunk as a skunk. At some point this is going to happen. And they’re going to vomit somewhere they shouldn’t and be too drunk to clean it up, so you’ll have to if you don’t want all visitors to ask why it smells of sick in your house for the next 12 years. You might even have to go and pick them up from a random park bench from which their frantic mate has rung you at 11pm , if you’re lucky.

E. Is for Eat you out of house and home. I have no idea where the hell they put it but honestly you will never have enough food and no matter how much food is in the house they’ll moan there’s sod all to eat despite there being a million plates in their bedroom.

F. Is for Foxtrot Oscar, you’re going to mumble this under your breath. A LOT. They know everything already and anything you say will be ignored. All of the time.

G. Is for “Get those rotten trainers out of my house.”Christ on a bike those trainers will stink and they’ll always be left at the door just so the smell can hit you as you come in. No amount of Febreze in the world can sort it out. Seriously.

H. Is for Headphones. They’re constantly in and they’ll ignore anything that comes out of your mouth. Half the time I’m not convinced he’s listening to anything just an excuse not to have to listen to me!

I. Is for I’m Going Slightly Mad, just like Freddie you’ll think you’re a banana tree. Well not quite but there will be times when you want to bang your head against the nearest wall. I wouldn’t though if I were you, you’ll just have a headache to go with your headache.

J. Is for Just look for it yourself for god sake! If it isn’t under their nose they can’t see it. Actually scrub that, they can’t see it even if it is right under their nose.

K. Is for Keep slamming that door and I’ll take the bugger off altogether. Threaten them with a lack of privacy and they’ll tow the line. Honest.

L. Is for Loudspeaker, every conversation they have is LOUD. They’ll have a moan at you invading their privacy for overhearing their conversation even though the neighbours at no 42 can hear them shouting into their iPhone. Hold it to your ear like normal bloody people!

M. Is for Mood Swings. Up, down, round and sideways. You never know which mood they’ll be in, it’s like having 4 different people all rolled into one. You know that film Split? It’s like that but upstairs in your house, every single day.

N. Is for No. You’ll find yourself using this word a lot. No you can’t have a house party. No you can’t Snapchat at the dinner table. No you can’t have another plate til you bring the other 12 mouldy ones down.

O. Is for Old. That’s how you feel when spending any time with a teen. Your dress sense, anything you say, your taste in music. All makes you old. And if you try to be all cool & stuff they’ll see right through it and make you feel even older.

P. Is for Puberty, one night your cute little boy is going to go to bed and in the morning he’ll be replaced with something like the Beast. Grumpy, hairy and hungry.

Q. Is for Questionable Hygiene. When was the last time they had a shower or brushed their teeth? If you don’t nag they’ll hope you don’t notice. But you will notice. Your gag reflex will notice.

R. Is for Really Though? Sometimes they’ll come up with elaborate stories for why they are late home. Think alien abduction but it only took half an hour and they must have nicked their keys too, which explains why they’re hammering on the door to be let in.

S. Is for Stiff Socks, you can never, ever be prepared for these bad boys that find themselves anywhere but the washing basket that they’re meant to be in.

T. Is for Texting. I have not a Scooby Doo what they talk about all day but those phones are constantly in their hands. Bleep, bleep, bleeping away.

U. Under the bed, don’t be going under there. Hell no. I’ve warned you.

V. Is for Vaping. It’s the in thing. They’re all at it and they leave a cloud of strawberry arse scented fog wherever they go. They might even sneakily try it in the bedroom and set off the smoke alarm and you’ll threaten to lob it out the window until they whinge about how much it cost. How bloody expensive?!!!

W. Is for Washing. It’s not dirty if it’s in the middle of the floor. It’s just there so they can find it easily. Like a sweaty, smelly, filing system.

X. Is for X rated. I don’t really need to say anymore do I. Don’t walk into their room without knocking. Ever. Don’t though.

Y. Is for You’ve got to be bloody kidding. It’s 3am they’re pissed and they’re ringing you from the back arse of beyond. “Where are you?” You’ll sigh and they’ll answer with something stupid like “well there’s loads of trees” or “outside Milletts”.

Z. Is for zits, they’re going to get them and boy are you going to hear about it. Especially if it’s just before a big night out. It’s the end of the world, everyone will laugh at them, they’ll never be able to leave the house again and so on.

As much as we can have a laugh about it, I bloody love my boy and wouldn’t change him. Well maybe the smelly feet. How many of these remind you of your teen boy? Or are yours completely different?

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Awesome Little Green Men Review

Awesome Little Green Men from MGA Entertainment are a new take on little green army men, infusing battle and game play with 100 unique characters to collect in Series 1, including four super rare figures in the green army and the blue army.

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The army starter packs come in army truck shaped boxes and little blind boxes are made to look like wooden crates with green bags inside. All kids love a bling bag/box don’t they?!

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The truck contains:

  • 4 Figures – 1 with a vehicle and 1 in a blind box
  • 4 Dog Tags
  • 1 Chain
  • 1 New Recruit Poster
  • Game Guide

The blind boxes contain:

  • 1 Figure
  • 1 Dog Tag

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There are over 100 soldiers to collect and have some really brilliant names such as Major Boo-Boo, Private Insurance, Capt. Obvious and Sgt Dealt It. There are common Infantrymen, rare Special Forces & Vehicles and ultra rare Generals. You get a handy checklist so you can tick off the ones you have and see which ones you still need to collect.

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The idea is to pick your little army and add up the points that the have on the bottom of each figure with each player having the same amount of points. Setting up the armies at opposite ends of a flat surface, kitchen table was perfect for this and take it in turns to flick  your soldier towards each other with the help of a few coins and capture the enemies soldiers and hit their goal.

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They are suitable for children aged 6+ and cost RRP £3.99 for the blind boxes and £14.99 for the starter pack that we received and are available from Amazon, Smyths Toys and ToysRUs.

These are great little collectibles and the kids had great fun creating their own little battles with them and wearing the dog tags. They’re a good size, quite chunky and robust and I love the fact there are both men and women included. They would make great Xmas presents or stocking fillers for your little fan of collectibles.

This little dude was the favourite around here:

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*We were gifted the items for the purpose of this review however all opinions remain honest and my own*

My Pocket Money Toy Christmas Eve Box

We’ve reviewed some amazing My Pocket Money Toy boxes before here , here and here and this time we’re delighted to be trying out the Christmas Eve version of it. If your kids are anything like mine Xmas lists are already starting to be written and you’ve threatened them with being put on the naughty list unless they start to behave.

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The box comes with very festive green tissue paper and red frilly card with a letter from Santa Claus letting them know they’re on the nice list!

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Onto the box contents which the kids couldn’t wait to get their hands on:

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Contents in no particular order:

  • The Puppet Company Gingerbread Man Puppet
  • Keycraft Santa Wind Up
  • Choc O Lait Chocolate Dissolve
  • Little Blue House Crew Socks
  • The Gourmet Chocolate Pizza Co Christmas Chocolate Pizza
  • Gibsons Christmas Snooze Puzzle
  • Melissa & Doug Stained Glass Santa
  • Hodder Childrens Books How To Catch Santa
  • Rachel Ellen Christmas Colouring Book
  • Bag of reindeer food complete with tinkly bell

As you can see there are loads of things to keep them amused whilst waiting for Santa to visit. We all know how excited they get just before the Big Man comes so anything that can divert their attention is a good thing!

Excitingly there’s even a mini version of the Christmas Eve box for Mums/Dads/Grandparents or anyone else you think would like one!

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This one also comes with the festive green tissue paper and contains some fab items to get you in the mood for the excitement of Christmas Day.

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Contents of mini box:

  • Little Blue House Christmas Light Socks
  • Choc O Lait Chocolate Dissolve
  • The Gourmet Chocolate Pizza Co Christmas Chocolate Pizza
  • Shaggy Stag Christmas Tree Ornament

I really liked the ornament as it’s handmade in Scotland and something just a little bit different to the normal baubles etc that I buy.

Our favourites were the chocolate pizzas, they didn’t last long and the puzzle as we could all get involved in that. I think these boxes are a brilliant idea for Christmas Eve, as Christmas Eve boxes are really popular at the moment – I’d have loved this as a kid I’m sure and my children loved it!

The Christmas box we received is priced at £30 and the mini box at £15 which I’d say is well worth the money as it takes away the hassle of looking for the individual items yourself , which I’m terrible for leaving til the last minute! As well as the brilliant Christmas boxes there are options for monthly subscription boxes and one off boxes:

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*We were gifted the boxes for the purpose of this review however all opinions remain honest and my own*

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Baby Annabell Learns To Swim Review

Little Lady absolutely loves her ‘babies’ so when we were offered the chance to review a new Baby Annabell I said yes straightaway. Baby Annabell – the UK’s number one selling large doll brand – has partnered with Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington to celebrate the launch of the new Baby Annabell Learns to Swim doll.  This doll is fully bathable (in shallow water with adult supervison) she cries, laughs and moves her arms and legs as though swimming.

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This Baby Annabell comes in her own pretty pink swimmimg costume complete with a frill and featuring sheep in their very own costumes on the front. She also has her own purple hooded towel and pink inflatable armbands.

The armbands can be blown up and popped on her arms, and the towel can be put on her head and wrapped around her.

The armband even has a picture of a sheep ready for swimming on the front!

Baby Annabell has lovely blue eyes and long eyelashes as well as little red cheeks.

She needs 3 X AA batteries which are not included and the on/off button is on the back of her neck. She can be sat up and she will move her arms, led down while holding her underneath or let her go and she will move her arms and legs and try to swim.

 

Just a little taster of what she can do! Her singing is definitely better than mine when I’m in the shower!

As you can see she was a hit with my Little Lady! She does need to be drained after use, I found it easiest just to leave her sat up in the sink after play to let gravity do it’s thing.

Baby Annabell Learns to Swim (RRP £49.99) is available from all good toy stores.
For ages 3+

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Whether your child is an anxious swimmer or an excited water baby, Rebecca Adlington’s top tips will help turn your child into a little Olympian in no time –

  •  Children can be initially nervous of the water, baby steps and lots of praise will help them overcome a lack of confidence. Try taking them alone to just watch for the first time, then toes in next time and so on, along with lots of positive praise to help encourage them to take that first dip.
  •  Toys are a brilliant tool, they are such a good distraction for anyone who doesn’t normally like putting their face in the water or splashing. Toys such as the new Baby Annabell Learns to Swim doll are a great way to give children (and parents!) the courage to take those first steps towards swimming.
  •  Swimming is huge bonding experience. The learning process is a lot to do with trust and really builds a closer relationship between and parent and child. For this reason, try not to use your phone during lessons to avoid distractions.
  •  The younger you start swimming lessons the better. I took Summer from 3 weeks old. It is all about building confidence and awareness of the water from a young age. Swimming also helps with a child’s muscular development and is fantastic for understanding their physical abilities.
  •  Make good use of the equipment that’s there. Whether it’s armbands, noodles, or vests, use whatever your child is more comfortable with. I tend to do five minutes with floatation equipment and five without, this helps when they’re really young and still building confidence.
  •  Mix up who takes the child swimming. Whether its Mum, Dad, Grandparents etc. It’s good to go with someone they trust whilst getting used to swimming with different people.

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*We were gifted the doll for the purposes of this review however all opinions remain honest and my own*

Holistic Hands Cwmbran – A Review

Having felt totally stressed out now that I’ve started working full time, attending gymnastics classes, parents evenings etc etc I was desperate for some me time. Having never been for any type of massage before I contacted Jade at Holistic Hands part of the I Heart Studio  situated in Springvale Industrial Estate, Cwmbran and asked her what she suggested. She gave me a few different options but the aromatherapy back, neck and shoulder massage stood out so I booked in.

The day came and although I felt a bit nervous I was also excited, I always feel  bit awkward when going somewhere new and have been known to put off appointments because of it but this time I was determined to see it through. There was a bit of a kerfuffle when I got lost looking for the place but Jade gave me directions with no problem. Once there I was greeted with a smile in a lovely calm, clean and tidy room. I was asked to fill in a form of my personal details any medications, illnesses or allergies and what I was hoping to get from the treatment. As I was hoping to feel less stressed she mixed up 3 oils with the carrier oil after asking me if there were any I didn’t particularly like, lavender in my case – hate the stuff!! Jade also gave me some info on what the different oils were for.

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She asked me after adding each one if I liked it so she could be sure I would like the smell of the overall product, once we were happy with the oils I was asked to remove the top half of my clothing, to lie on the bed face down with the blanket provided over me.

Jade then popped on some really relaxing music and the low lighting made for a really relaxing experience. The oil smelled amazing and Jade asked me if the pressure was ok during the massage to ensure I got the most from the experience. I felt myself relaxing the whole time.

Once the massage was over Jade asked me to lie there for a few minutes to come round, (was tempted to drag it out to a few hours but didn’t want to outstay my welcome) before popping my clothes back on and coming out to the reception desk where she would be waiting for me. I was presented with a bottle of water as I was advised I could be a bit dehydrated and also told I may find I experience a headache or feel cold. Luckily I didn’t have any of these symptoms and still felt really relaxed all evening.

My particular massage cost £20 (worth every penny) and there are a whole host of other treatments available including Facials, Indian Head Massage and Sports Massage, I was so pleased with the massage I have rebooked and even booked to have my nails done in the adjoining IHeart Studio as I’d felt so welcome and at ease.

If you fancy popping along you can book via Facebook here.

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*I was not asked to write nor was I paid for this review, I have written it as a result of a lovely experience.*

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