Would You Step In?

Last night I read and was appalled by a message in our school’s parents group regarding children of 8/9 that had been fighting on the yard and ONLY 1 Dad had been willing to step in to attempt to stop them despite there being plenty of other people around (no teachers at the time). I replied saying that I had myself stepped in on several occasions, when kids have been actually fighting and when older lads were throwing a younger ones bag in a puddle which I’ve talked about before and was then – and still am now – surprised at how many people won’t and don’t step in for whatever reason. I don’t do the school run anymore as I work full time now and in some ways I’m quite glad.

Some parents said they were disgusted that the poor guy was left to deal with it by himself and they would step in if they saw it, some said they had done something to stop fighting in the past and some said they didn’t like to because they worry about repercussions. The times that I stepped in I didn’t stop to think, it was just automatic that I had to stop a child being hurt although I do understand why people would hesitate. Sometimes you may feel as though you shouldn’t if it isn’t your child or a child you know or you have found yourself in a bad situation following stepping in on a previous occasion.

Interested to know what other people also thought I asked my fellow bloggers for their input and this is what they had to say:

Victoria from LyliaRose

Yes if I saw my own child being bullied or being a bully I would definitely step in! I would also tell the teachers immediately and want it to be discussed with the other parents of children involved. When I was at school I was bullied and the teachers didn’t do anything for ages. My mum told the school, but they didn’t act immediately and they should have.


Jemma from Mayflower Blogs

I’d hope a teacher would get involved if it was in the school playground-but if there wasn’t I’d definitely get involved to split it up then report to a member of staff! 


Pete from HouseholdMoneySaving

I would step in, and would like to think most people would. I would hate the idea that if an adult saw one of my kids being picked on, they wouldn’t do anything about it.


Leigh from DadGeek

In my opinion, schools are ill-equipped to deal with bullying and frequently a ‘zero-tolerance’ policy is nothing more than a failure to adequately report issues that are happening.

With that in mind I would definitely step in if I saw something like that happening. Too often lazy parents let their kids become hooligans because ‘boys will be boys’.


Christy from Welsh Mum

I would absolutely step in by attempting to de-escalate the situation, calling the bullies out on their behaviour if possible and I would of course go to a member of staff. I can’t imagine just turning my back on a child being bullied whether it was my child or not!


Ayse from ArePops

I would like to think I would but it’s hard to know for sure. I have stood up for people (adults) in the street who were being attacked. I would definitely make my presence known to the kids in the hopes that would stop it without direct interference. (I’ve been attacked previously as a child and as an adult for stepping into situations and it’s made me a little anxious about whether I would do it now, unfortunately.)


Folakemi from PeacocksCanFly

I can’t sit there and watch my child or any child being bullied. I would hope an adult would at least try to diffuse the situation and then report it to the school authorities.


Kate from TheMumConundrum

If it involved my kids, or someone was getting physically harmed I would step in directly. In any case I would take note of exactly what was happening and report it to the school immediately. I worked in a school office for 7 years so I know how the system works: If I send a report of what happened by email, the school are then legally obligated to investigate it (it needs to be put in writing).


Sinead from SineadLatham

If there was no one from the school present then I would step in and ask someone to go and find a teacher at the same time. Whilst I am happy to intervene, I have to be aware of other parents and how they would react. It’s a sad world we live in when we worry about how parents will respond.


Eilidh from MummyandMonkeys

Yes definitely! I am a teacher so I do it instinctively. Depending on the situation I would step in or go over and just ask if everything was ok, that’s usually enough to stop it. I would then make sure the school are aware! 


Pippa from AMothersRamblings

I’m a School Governor at two schools and I am well known and will always challenge it if I see it in the Schools I’m in. I’ve only seen it once some kids were throwing mud at another child and as soon as I started striding over to the kids, they all stopped, shocked that a grown up had seen them and was going to call them out.

I asked them all to go to the office to speak with the head (this was before school and most parents had left already) and I went too and wrote a report, so it would be an official investigation and I could ensure it was followed up on.

Once I was driving home from my Sister’s home when I saw some kids chasing another with a tree branch. So I stopped the car got out, yelled at the kids to stop and had the kid being chased come to me. They were petrified of these bigger kids, so I stayed with them until the Police came (I called them too!).


Su from Ethan&Evelyn

Yes I would! Bulling is appalling. FULL STOP!


Kristie from MammaPrada

I would step in. My son was bullied in his first term of reception year. He told me at dinner one night and I was shocked. I told the school but at first they didn’t believe me. It took several months and other children saying the same about the same bully for the School to take it seriously. Very frustrating!


 Gemma from MummyInTheMadhouse

I cannot and I will not tolerate bullying from any sort of level, whether it’s from a child or an adult. I would most definitely step in & try to diffuse the situation, I would then let a member of staff know what has happened. I just wouldn’t not be able to get involved, whether the child was mine or not. Bullying shouldn’t ever be tolerated! 


What are your thoughts? Would you step in? Have you stepped in? Has your child got hurt and you wished somebody had stepped in?

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Turning A Blind Eye

One of my favourite bloggers namely Alan at OMG It’s A Girl wrote this post about Domestic Violence and how people can sometimes not intervene in arguments if they walked past them in the street for fear of what might happen if they do. Today I’m writing something in a similar vein but this time it’s involving children.

If you saw a child being ‘picked on’ would you do something about it? Or would you turn a blind eye? Today I witnessed a group of children, around 9 or 10 at a guess on the school playground who were having what I thought was a disagreement. I dropped my own child to his class and on walking back past them to take my other child I realised this wasn’t just a disagreement, it was more than that. It was a child threatening another child, taking his bag and not letting him have it back and when I intervened throwing it in a muddy puddle.

But what really surprised me in all of this was the amount of people who just walked past. These are parents, I’d like to think that if something like this was happening to my own children that someone would step in and stop it. I’m not saying they were wrong for walking on but I felt I had to stop and say something. I have no idea whether this was just a one off after a tiff perhaps  a lost game of football, or something that’s been going on for longer. I’m not saying it was bullying at all as this was just one incident I was witness to. But if I hadn’t done something there and then I know that I would have tormented myself wondering what had happened after I’d left.

Recently, far too close to home there has been a case of a young teen taking her own life after being bullied. How do things get so very bad that a girl just starting out in life with everything to look forward to gets to the stage where she feels the only way out is suicide? As a parent you want to protect your child from the bad things in life and bullying is unfortunately something that has happened for a long time. The rise of social media doesn’t help as you only have to scroll through a teenagers feed to know that there’s a very fine line between so called ‘banter’ and something far more sinister. One child may shrug it off but another may be far more sensitive, when I think of myself as a teen I was an overthinker, a worrier. I had braces, a bit of name calling was the worst I ever had. Should you feel lucky though for not having been bullied though? Of course not. It should be the norm. Unfortunately though there are far too many people who have been bullied and not just in the playground. We all need to do more to stop it, where we can.

There are people you can turn to if you do feel you are being bullied or know someone who is and you want to help them. If you are being bullied there are people who will be willing to listen, to help. Please don’t try to cope alone. These are just a few of the places that can help.

Have you ever come across a situation you thought maybe needed someone to intervene? Have you walked past and wished you hadn’t? Have you been a victim of bullying and wished somebody had?

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