Over the years I’ve come across many of lifes, um…lovely people. You know the type, the ones who make your eyes roll so hard they fall out and you have to chase them up the road but you can’t see though can you so you trip over your own daps and headbutt a dog poo … More Knobheads, Knobheads Everywhere
I love my children and I love being a Mum. Like most parents I often doubt how good I am at it though. My confidence seems to have buggered off on holiday and is currently getting smashed in a bar in Ibiza, dancing to the Macarena & fending off pissed up admirers who’ve had a … More Anyone Seen My Confidence?
If, like me,you spend most nights trying not to bludgeon your hubby (or wife, dog or anyone else for that matter) to death with your favourite shoes (tip – use the daps they’re stingy and deliver a satisfying slap) then I totally feel your pain! I’m talking the kind of snoring that could wake the … More The Old Man Is Snoring
❄️ Open the curtains, look outside and see a rectangular lump of snow where the car should be. Decide that even though other cars have attempted to get out of the cul-de-sac on a hill and I quite fancy a day off I don’t really want it to be because I’m dead. ❄️ Choose to risk a … More Getting To Work In The Snow
We are well and truly into the swing of the six week holidays now aren’t we? Kids have spent approx 40% of their time grassing on each other 50% kicking shite out each other and 10% playing nicely. This is how our School Holidays are going… Pro: Lie-in’s, mine have been treating me to staying … More How Our School Holidays Are Going…
If you have kids who love Youtube, (we use Youtube Kids, weeds out most of the adult and weird ones you don’t want the kids watching) you’re sure to have come across at least one video that’s made you want to stab your ears with a fork. Here I list the top 5 that are … More Annoying Kids Youtube Videos
There I was wandering around the kids bedroom muttering to myself about the bloody mess that no one else ever clears up when suddenly a smell hits me. Straight up the nostrils. ‘Oh god, there’s something dead in here’ I think eyes darting round the room. Memories of my brother and I finding woodlice and … More There’s A What In The Kids Room?
Date: 27/4/17 Number of times I’ve been called Mum: 4832 Number of fights broken up: 20 Dear Diary…Mum and I went to see the Sister Act Musical in Cardiff Millennium Centre. ‘Twas amazing. At the end there was an explosion of shiny foil pieces showering down on us. It was late when I got home … More Dear Diary #3
Date: 16/4/17 Number of times I’ve been called Mum: 3215 Number of fights broken up: 42 Dear Diary… More and more lately, probably because its half term I’ve been wondering how the pigging hell anyone ever gets anything done once they’re a parent? Every single second of the day someone is calling me. If I … More Dear Diary #2
It’s a phonecall you hate getting, next to Unknown number, seeing the school’s number on your phone screen is terror inducing. All sorts goes through your mind. What’s happened? Who’s hurt? What have they done? I’ve had various phonecalls in my time and inspired by a conversation with an old friend (who sadly I don’t … More The School’s Calling