“Help me!” I was sat in the garden, minding my own business, soaking up the sun in my shit cut off at the knee with a pair of kitchen scissors, hole in the arse jogging bottoms when I heard it. Kids messing about? Woman calling her husband with heavy shopping? Something more sinister? I sat … More The Buttery Puppy
Now that the summer holidays are over you may be looking back on them in fondness or rubbing your mucky little hands with glee that the bastards are finally over. For some it’s a childcare logistical nightmare and for some it’s lazy mornings and more crafts than you can shake a lavender scented lollipop stick … More Summer Scraps and Snacks
Inspired by Daddy Poppins recent child free holiday to Ibiza I remembered my own visit. There I was, San Antonio 2002, let loose for a week, my Dad had my little boy and it was going to be the best holiday ever. Right? Well, not really. A simple throwaway comment threw me completely. I was … More The Throwaway Comment
There was once a Mum, a birthday party virgin if you like. Full of hope and excited expectation at their offspring being invited to a jelly and icecream filled shindig. Their child will be the most popular, being welcomed into the cool kid crew, join in all the party games and maybe, just maybe be … More The Birthday Party
Now I’m not one of those nutters who professes to be able to cure depression in 24 easy steps, this is purely meant as a light hearted post when you’ve had a bad day whether that’s grumpy shouty people at work, nightmare at home with the kids trying to drown each other in the downstairs … More Bad Day? No Way!
Shopping. Love it or hate it, it’s a job that has to be done at some point unless you fancy starving. Jon and I have very different views on shopping. To me it’s a chore, I’m a get in, get it done and get out kind of person. He’s a take your time, peruse at … More Shopping? You’re Off Your Trolley!
The good old school disco, who didn’t love it? None of your prom nonsense in gorgeous dresses and coiffed hair, in the 90’s when I was a teen we wore Hypercolour t-shirts, shell suits, ruffle front white chiffon blouses or maybe if you had “one of those Mum’s” a neon pink Bridesmaids dress you wore … More The School Disco With A 90’s Lyrics Quiz
Over the years I’ve come across many of lifes, um…lovely people. You know the type, the ones who make your eyes roll so hard they fall out and you have to chase them up the road but you can’t see though can you so you trip over your own daps and headbutt a dog poo … More Knobheads, Knobheads Everywhere
I love my children and I love being a Mum. Like most parents I often doubt how good I am at it though. My confidence seems to have buggered off on holiday and is currently getting smashed in a bar in Ibiza, dancing to the Macarena & fending off pissed up admirers who’ve had a … More Anyone Seen My Confidence?
If, like me,you spend most nights trying not to bludgeon your hubby (or wife, dog or anyone else for that matter) to death with your favourite shoes (tip – use the daps they’re stingy and deliver a satisfying slap) then I totally feel your pain! I’m talking the kind of snoring that could wake the … More The Old Man Is Snoring