Dear Diary 27th April 2017

Date: 27/4/17

Number of times I’ve been called Mum: 4832

Number of fights broken up: 20

Dear Diary…Mum and I went to see the Sister Act Musical in Cardiff Millennium Centre. ‘Twas amazing. At the end there was an explosion of shiny foil pieces showering down on us. It was late when I got home so I crawled into bed in my vest top & bra, only in the morning I woke up with one of the gold pieces in my cleavage and the colour had rubbed off so am now sporting gold boobies. Awesome.


I offered to take the kids out for tea. Anywhere they wanted. They chose Morrison’s cafe?! After work I nipped home to pick them up walked into Morrison’s only to spot Little Lady’s trousers on backwards. Tell the OH off through gritted teeth and he sulked while I scoffed my Macaroni Cheese. Turned out kids eat free with an adult meal so it was £10 for the 4 of us. My kids are a lot of things and now frugal is one of them.


Walked into the kids bedroom to tidy only to find shit on the carpet. WTAF though. Who and why? Little Lady has been known to do it in a Lego storage head before but that was a good while ago when she was potty training. On closer inspection (I get the best jobs) turns out it was not, in fact, shit but blobs of mashed up banana. Since both kids had been moaning they were hungry just before bed (standard) they’d had half a banana each. Only ‘nobody’ did it. That bastard again. My money is on Little Lady though because it was also on her duvet cover. Funny that.


Went to a kids party today. You either love them or hate them. I hate them. Well most of them, some aren’t so bad. This one though was really bad. Not the fault of the Mum who threw it at all but my daughter sat on my lap and refused to move the entire time (apart from to shove chocolate mini rolls in her gob at buffet time) on 2 occasions I tried to strike up conversations with people, on both occasions I was blanked. So there I was stone dead from embarrassment and shunned into the deepest darkest corner of no friend-dom with a clingon, not even Let It Go would shift her. Or the Spider-Man that jumped out of the curtain.  To make it worse I looked even more weird when rescued via messages back and fore from a friend and giggled like a pillock to myself. It’s in those moments you realise that those people really don’t matter. I tried. I failed. I moved on. But there will always be the ones who have your back when you really need it.


Really must remember to empty out the naughty snack rubbish from my car door pocket. Telling the OH I’m eating lots of salad in attempt to lose weight and be healthy isn’t going to wash when he finds 10 Haribo wrappers hidden under the shammy or a Galaxy bar the size of my youngest child in the glove box. Rookie mistake that, am most ashamed of myself.


OH isn’t feeling well. Does he naff off to bed to rest and recuperate? Does he hell. He’d rather stay downstairs sighing and moaning and telling me how much he’s dying. And being grumpy. Good god man just go to bed. I wouldn’t need telling twice I can tell you!


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Dear Diary 16th April 2017

Date: 16/4/17

Number of times I’ve been called Mum: 3215

Number of fights broken up: 42

Dear Diary… More and more lately, probably because its half term I’ve been wondering how the pigging hell anyone ever gets anything done once they’re a parent? Every single second of the day someone is calling me. If I walk upstairs you can guarantee someone will call me. I’ve literally just walked away from them, what can possibly have happened in those 12 seconds? Really. Then I forget why I went upstairs in the first place. How am I supposed to look at little lady’s drawing, look at OH’s changing around of a room, shut teens door to stop the stench and look for Xbox controller batteries for little man all at the same time?! I swear they think I can though. And then…and then? When I get a bit hair offish OH says I’m a moody cow. Typical.


The kids have driven me round the twist. They’ve literally hung off my leg all day, surely at 7 and 4 they should be able to find something in that bedroom full of toys to play with without dragging me away from my endless piles of washing? But no.

They’re bored.
They want a drink.
They want something off the shelf.
They want a drink.
They can’t find Lego Batman.
They want a drink.

It’s Easter there’s chocolate everywhere and they can’t find a thing to do. What is going on? I’m sure at their age I was hiding under my bed with a stomach ache having eaten a whole egg in one go and waiting for the inevitable almighty telling off I was ripe for.


I thought today was going to be a day where I had to have one of those awkward conversations with the kids.

“I don’t want to die Mum”

Came from Little Miss in the back of the car. Oh crap, how do I put it? “Well everybody has to….” I started to say.

Little Man: “You won’t die til you’re old. Or get hit by a car.”

Little Man : “Yeah then you’d be squashed dead. All over the road.”

Little Miss: “Look Mum there’s a McDonalds over there, I want a Happy Meal.”

Annnnnd that was the end of that conversation. Think I got out of that one quite nicely thankyou.


I don’t think the kids are all that impressed with my singing capabilities. Dancing round the kitchen to Love is a Battlefield and singing into a tin opener attracted some ‘god you’re embarrassing Mum’ looks. Good job the teen wasn’t there. He would have spontaneously combusted from the absolute shame of having such a saddo for a Mum. Like that time at I went to a work do with Mum and she got up to dance to Status Quo. Always that same cringy dance and air guitar – for the love of god – with Bob the van guy.


OMG the little lady was quiet for a while today. Suspiciously quiet. When I checked there seemed to be nothing untoward going on. Maybe my own paranoia? Nope. Big nope. I should have learned by now to always trust my instinct. On getting her changed for bed, the realisation came that orange felt pen was covering the lower half of her body. Like some sort of half-human half-Oompa Loompa mash up. “Why did you do that?” I asked. “Just wanted to see what it looked like” she said like it was a perfectly normal thing to do. I tried the good old baby wipes. Wouldn’t come off. Tried showering. Wouldn’t come off. Tried alcohol gel. Wouldn’t bloody come off. I’ve resigned myself to having a half orange kid for a while.

 

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Solar Buddies Sunscreen Applicator Review

If you have a child in nursery or school you’ll know that when your child goes to school the teachers aren’t allowed to apply sunscreen to them and if you’re anything like me you’ll worry that just putting sunscreen on in the morning before they go won’t be enough to protect their sensitive skin. I’ve seen plenty of children coming out of school on hot days with red faces and burnt noses or worse.

If there was a product that a child could use to do it themselves wouldn’t that just be amazing? Well good news! The Solar Buddies  sunscreen applicator is award winning, easy to use, child friendly and the brainchild of two Mums – Laura and Kelli who wanted to help children / teachers to be able to apply sunscreen and still comply with the no touch policy that schools adhere to.

solar-buddies-sunscreen-applicator

It comes as an empty unit for you to use your own sunscreen because obviously one size doesn’t fit all when it comes to sun protection. Both my younger children are fair haired and skinned so I like to use a high factor 50 on them. All you need to do is pull off the lid, unscrew the roller ball head then squeeze your chosen sunscreen into the yellow pot. Screw the head back on and away you go.

sunscreen

The Solar Buddies applicator combines a roller ball and sponge for smooth and easy application with no mess, no spillage and is economical as there’s no wastage. We all know sunscreen can be quite expensive. The chunky design means it’s great for small hands to use and is really simple for children which means it can be added to school bags for them to top up whilst at school or out and about. solar-buddies-sunscreen-applicator-inside-view

They are refillable and hold 100ml of sunscreen so you don’t have to lug whole bottles around with you, especially annoying if all family members use a different type of sunscreen.

My daughter is 4 and as always ready to help with my reviews so here she is demonstrating how she uses her Solar Buddies applicator.

I have no doubt that she and her brother are confident in using it so I can rest easy knowing that their skin will be protected even when I’m not there to do it. I just need to remind them each morning to put it on at break and lunch times. There is a space on the applicator for you to write the child (or adults) name on so there’s no problems with getting them mixed up. They are small and light so won’t be heavy in their bags.

The Solar Buddies applicators can be washed out and it’s recommended that the bottle and sponge unit are cleaned and dried thoroughly before re-using. It’s best to not to allow sand into the applicator where possible as this can affect it’s efficacy so rub down the skin before use. During times of constant use the sponge unit should be replaced every 2/3 months.

You can purchase them as a single  which is RRP £8.00 but currently selling at a very reasonable £6.40 or there are many options such as combining with replacement heads .You can also purchase one of their lovely beach ready packs, choose from Disney’s Frozen, Disney Princess, Spider-Man and Star Wars. Each pack contains: 1 Drawstring Beach Bag, 1 Baseball Cap, 1 Beachball and 1 Drinks Bottle – all the essentials for a day at the beach (Solar Buddies applicators are not included in these packs but are ideal for carrying a Solar Buddies applicator already purchased).

Overall we think that Solar Buddies Sunscreen Applicators are a must have for applying sunscreen, they are a revelation and there’s no more of that “Mum, get off me” nonsense you usually get when trying to get the wrigglers to stand still and put it on. Instead you’ll have kids all proud as punch to be doing it for themselves.

 

You can find and follow Solar Buddies here:

Solar Buddies Website
Facebook
Instagram
Twitter

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*We were gifted a Solar Buddies Sunscreen Applicator for the purpose of this review however all opinions remain honest and our own*

Jumbo Hi-Tower In A Bag Review

When we were offered the chance to review something fun for the garden by Big Game Hunters it didn’t take me long to decide on a giant tower game as we play the normal size Jenga quite regularly and the kids really enjoy it. I chose the Jumbo Hi-Tower as my 4 yr old daughter is only little and I wanted her to be included in the game. This set has blocks sized 15cm x 5cm x 3cm and builds a tower starting at 0.6m tall and can go up to 1.56m as the blocks are placed on top during the game. There are bigger versions available for you to choose so if you had a really big garden (which we don’t anymore) or wanted to play with older children/adults then you could go for the really big ones!

big-game-hunters-giant-jenga-in-packaging

The blocks come in a handy reusable storage bag so there’s no worrying about losing bits or trying to find somewhere to store it. It also means you can carry it, so great for taking to the park or perhaps to a family barbecue once the weather warms up a bit!There are 58 blocks in total and they are made from solid pine wood from sustainable sources. The blocks as you can see are actually quite pretty to look at and they are all smooth so no nasty bits for fingers.

big-game-hunters-hi-tower-blocks

The kids found it easy to take the blocks out of the bag and build the start tower and they knew exactly what to do, if you’ve never played it the idea is you take it in turns to remove a block  from the tower and place it on the top. If your kids are anything like mine they’ll enjoy taking the daftest pieces to make it as precarious as possible but it does make it good fun!

As you can see the blocks aren’t overly huge and I felt they were the right size for our garden and children. They really enjoyed playing with the game and it’s a good way to get the kids out in the fresh air – although we did have to time it right playing as here in Wales we tend to get an awful lot of rain!

The Jumbo Hi-Tower is available for a very reasonable  £19.99. There are lots of other fun items available on the website too – outdoor games, swings, trampolines to name but a few. I actually think the WigWams look like great fun too.

Julie x (2)

*we were gifted the game for the purpose of this review however all opinions remain honest and my own*

 

I Woke Up This Morning

I woke up this morning,
Looked like Ozzy Osbourne.
My hair was well scary,
My mascara left on.

The kids came in screaming,
Over whose toy it is.
All I could think of,
Is “What fresh hell is this?”

I’ll go for a pee now,
With an audience of two.
It’s not even funny,
Someone get me a brew.

Go down to make breakfast
and find the homework.
Dig out my straighteners
to look less like a berk.

Where the hell have the shoes gone,
Always running amok.
They’ve buggered right off now,
Along with one sock.

Leg it out the door fast.
For another school run.
Going nuts on their scooters…
“Please don’t fall on your bum!”

Rock up at the school doors,
With minutes to spare.
It’s started to rain too,
So I mumble a swear.

I lug both the scooters home,
Getting smashed in the shin.
I musn’t throw them in a bush.
Is it too early for gin?

I waltz through the front door,
And fling off my shoes.
I start on the cleaning,
But I’d rather a snooze.

I fill up on coffee,
So I don’t fall asleep.
Get on with the washing,
From this 70ft heap.

I might get 5 minutes,
To sit on my bum.
Before I rush off again,
For another school run.

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