My Babies

For day 2 of Blogtober 17 with HexMum the prompt is ‘babies’. I don’t have any little babies anymore but the kids will always be my babies. Cor, can you imagine how disgusted the teen would be reading that? He’s upstairs pretending he hates me but I know the elbow nudges as he goes past means he loves me really. Either that or I’m just in his bloody way.

I have 3 ‘babies’ aged 19, 8 and 5. I had my 1st at 20, god I was young. Too young, certainly according to the disapproving looks from some nosey gits. I should have gone out in a school uniform just for the fun of it, that would give them something to tut about, wouldn’t it! I ended up as a single parent  and it was bloody hard working and bringing up a kid by yourself. I wouldn’t change it though. He might be a knobhead teenager at times but most of the time he’s quite sweet and has bagged himself the loveliest girlfriend. He loves free running, which most of the time makes me cringe but he does have a good talent for it and it keeps him out of trouble. Apart from the odd falling asleep on the loo drunk incident I can’t say he’s ever brought trouble to my door.

Baby number 2 came along when I was 31. Big gap, huh? As I mentioned in Day 1 I hated giving birth, it was one (actually 3) of the worst things I’ve ever done. I love my kids with all my heart but shiiiiiiiit I wish someone told you without lying how bad it is BEFORE you go and get yourself up the duff. All I got was “oh it’s like a big poo” or “it’s a bit sore but not so bad” LYING BASTARDS. This Little Man hated sleeping anywhere other than with me and has grown to be a very mild mannered, thoughtful and kind boy who loves maths (doesn’t get that from me!) and Pokemon cards.

My last baby at 34 turned out to be a girl which we were very happy with as we felt she completed our family. I had Hyperemesis with all my children but this was by far the worst, I spent endless weeks in bed being sick. She was a much wanted baby but god I hated that pregnancy. Bad pregnancy should = nice easy labour shouldn’t it? Well it bloody didn’t. I had an emergency section after 3 years in labour. She turned out to be a good sleeper though, she’s the only one of the three who even entertained the idea of a Moses basket. She loves gymnastics, mothering her ‘baba’s’ and nagging for a puppy.

So that’s my three babies, I’m all done having them now and look forward to Grandchildren at some point in the future (looooonnnngggg into the future I hope!) I wouldn’t change any of them for the world, well maybe I’d make my daughter a little less grumpy when she gets out of bed and my teen a little quieter at night but they all have their little quirks that makes them who they are.

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#Blogtober17

 

A Letter To My Kids Now I’m Working Full Time

I had a sense of Déjà vu as we sat down to talk. Remembering my Mum (Nana) doing the same thing to Uncle Justin and I. She said “do you want Mummy to be home all the time or do you want treats, holidays and days out?” We went for the latter. We always had holidays to Tenby, days out to Oakwood and much more. Mum worked hard (still does). She was a single parent for a while and it must have been exhausting for her, working all day and coming home to meet our demands too.

So I told you I was going to be at work Monday to Friday from now on because the other lady I work with was leaving and the opportunity was there. Daddy and I had talked about it and decided it was a good idea because we bumble along at the moment but this would make life easier. You looked sad for a little while as I went on to explain that I was doing it for us to have more money, for a better life. A chance to have holidays and more fun days out. “Could we have a holiday?” you piped up Little Man. “Where would you like to go?” I asked. “A caravan in Porthcawl” you answered and I gave you the biggest hug because when you’re little a caravan holiday to a seaside town with a fair, arcades and icecreams of all colours is beyond your wildest dreams.

I promise I will still be there to get you ready for school, to kiss you goodbye and tell you I love you before you start the walk to school with Daddy, I may not be there to pick you up from the gate but I will still take you to gymnastics Little Lady and tut at all the other parents who, despite being British don’t understand the concept of a queue. I will make it to all your concerts and parents evenings as I always have because I love to see your little faces light up when the teacher is saying all those lovely things about you. Even though in your case Little Lady I sometimes sit there with my mouth hanging open in disbelief as they tell me how quiet you are and they barely hear a peep out of you.

I reminded myself of Nana (in a good way, not in stern get your elbows off the table way) when I set about ironing a huge pile of your uniforms in a bid to be totally organised, I would usually wing it but I’m determined to start as I mean to go on and not rush around in a panic because I can’t find anything. So far we have got ourselves in a routine that works. I still get the best cuddles when I walk through the door, play board games on the bedroom floor and get our weekends all to ourselves. I hope that as you grow up you will see that working hard is good not only to keep your head above water financially but that it gives you good self esteem too as your older brother has found now he too has a full time job. I don’t claim to be the perfect Mum by any stretch of the imagination but I have and always will, try my best. Because I love the bones of you, my little monkeys.

Mum

Monday Stumble Linky

 

My Pocket Money Toy Subscription Box – Holiday Edition

We’ve reviewed some brilliant My Pocket Money Toy boxes before here and here and now we’re back testing out a fantastic Summer Holiday edition!

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As always they came in the boxes with the gorgeous iridescent shredding – shhh don’t tell anyone but I’ve been saving it for Birthday present use! These were boxes that just kept on giving. Packed to the seams with great things!

3-5 holiday box

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  • Ladybird Topsy & Tim Go on holiday book
  • Keycraft Glow in the dark Moon Balls
  • Keycraft Light up bubble gun
  • Galt Dot to Dot book
  • Melissa & Doug Water Wow!
  • The Green Board Game Co. My first colour & shape snap
  • Nature Buddies Duck plush
  • Orchard Toys Penguin Pairs
  • Shrinkies Playful Puppy

8-10 holiday box

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  • DK Space Ultimate Sticker Book
  • Sky Rider Flying Disc
  • Duncan Yoyo
  • Keycraft Skydiver
  • Usborne Around The World In 80 Days book
  • Brainbox Mr Men Bounce
  • Sailors Notes
  • Melissa & Doug Rainbow Holographic

Whether you have a long drive, train or plane ride to get to your holiday destination or just need something to keep the kids amused on an inevitable rainy day, these boxes are your savior! A wide variety of games and activities to keep their attention and even play with whilst on holiday. Playing frisbee is a must on the beach! No need for “are we nearly there yet?” My Pocket Money Toy has you covered.

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Little Miss particularly enjoyed playing with this Melissa & Doug Water Wow! book which is a magic painting style book, fill the chunky pen provided with water and away you go bringing the picture to colourful life! It’s reusable so can be used over and over.

Little Man took a shine straightaway to this Duncan Yoyo:

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In his favourite colour – green- too! He hasn’t quite yet got the hang of it but there’s hours of fun in practising! Unfortunately I’m still as useless at it as I was when I was a kid 😀

Both boxes also contained a sticker to go in your Spectacular Stamp book towards a free toy. We all like free don’t we?! We absolutely loved these boxes right from the start and this particular one exceeded all expectations. They are fantastic value for money and I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend.

As well as the brilliant holiday boxes there are options for monthly subscription boxes and one off boxes:

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*We were gifted the boxes for the purpose of this review however all opinions are honest and my own*

Monday Stumble Linky

Dear Diary 27th April 2017

Date: 27/4/17

Number of times I’ve been called Mum: 4832

Number of fights broken up: 20

Dear Diary…Mum and I went to see the Sister Act Musical in Cardiff Millennium Centre. ‘Twas amazing. At the end there was an explosion of shiny foil pieces showering down on us. It was late when I got home so I crawled into bed in my vest top & bra, only in the morning I woke up with one of the gold pieces in my cleavage and the colour had rubbed off so am now sporting gold boobies. Awesome.


I offered to take the kids out for tea. Anywhere they wanted. They chose Morrison’s cafe?! After work I nipped home to pick them up walked into Morrison’s only to spot Little Lady’s trousers on backwards. Tell the OH off through gritted teeth and he sulked while I scoffed my Macaroni Cheese. Turned out kids eat free with an adult meal so it was £10 for the 4 of us. My kids are a lot of things and now frugal is one of them.


Walked into the kids bedroom to tidy only to find shit on the carpet. WTAF though. Who and why? Little Lady has been known to do it in a Lego storage head before but that was a good while ago when she was potty training. On closer inspection (I get the best jobs) turns out it was not, in fact, shit but blobs of mashed up banana. Since both kids had been moaning they were hungry just before bed (standard) they’d had half a banana each. Only ‘nobody’ did it. That bastard again. My money is on Little Lady though because it was also on her duvet cover. Funny that.


Went to a kids party today. You either love them or hate them. I hate them. Well most of them, some aren’t so bad. This one though was really bad. Not the fault of the Mum who threw it at all but my daughter sat on my lap and refused to move the entire time (apart from to shove chocolate mini rolls in her gob at buffet time) on 2 occasions I tried to strike up conversations with people, on both occasions I was blanked. So there I was stone dead from embarrassment and shunned into the deepest darkest corner of no friend-dom with a clingon, not even Let It Go would shift her. Or the Spider-Man that jumped out of the curtain.  To make it worse I looked even more weird when rescued via messages back and fore from a friend and giggled like a pillock to myself. It’s in those moments you realise that those people really don’t matter. I tried. I failed. I moved on. But there will always be the ones who have your back when you really need it.


Really must remember to empty out the naughty snack rubbish from my car door pocket. Telling the OH I’m eating lots of salad in attempt to lose weight and be healthy isn’t going to wash when he finds 10 Haribo wrappers hidden under the shammy or a Galaxy bar the size of my youngest child in the glove box. Rookie mistake that, am most ashamed of myself.


OH isn’t feeling well. Does he naff off to bed to rest and recuperate? Does he hell. He’d rather stay downstairs sighing and moaning and telling me how much he’s dying. And being grumpy. Good god man just go to bed. I wouldn’t need telling twice I can tell you!


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Dear Diary 16th April 2017

Date: 16/4/17

Number of times I’ve been called Mum: 3215

Number of fights broken up: 42

Dear Diary… More and more lately, probably because its half term I’ve been wondering how the pigging hell anyone ever gets anything done once they’re a parent? Every single second of the day someone is calling me. If I walk upstairs you can guarantee someone will call me. I’ve literally just walked away from them, what can possibly have happened in those 12 seconds? Really. Then I forget why I went upstairs in the first place. How am I supposed to look at little lady’s drawing, look at OH’s changing around of a room, shut teens door to stop the stench and look for Xbox controller batteries for little man all at the same time?! I swear they think I can though. And then…and then? When I get a bit hair offish OH says I’m a moody cow. Typical.


The kids have driven me round the twist. They’ve literally hung off my leg all day, surely at 7 and 4 they should be able to find something in that bedroom full of toys to play with without dragging me away from my endless piles of washing? But no.

They’re bored.
They want a drink.
They want something off the shelf.
They want a drink.
They can’t find Lego Batman.
They want a drink.

It’s Easter there’s chocolate everywhere and they can’t find a thing to do. What is going on? I’m sure at their age I was hiding under my bed with a stomach ache having eaten a whole egg in one go and waiting for the inevitable almighty telling off I was ripe for.


I thought today was going to be a day where I had to have one of those awkward conversations with the kids.

“I don’t want to die Mum”

Came from Little Miss in the back of the car. Oh crap, how do I put it? “Well everybody has to….” I started to say.

Little Man: “You won’t die til you’re old. Or get hit by a car.”

Little Man : “Yeah then you’d be squashed dead. All over the road.”

Little Miss: “Look Mum there’s a McDonalds over there, I want a Happy Meal.”

Annnnnd that was the end of that conversation. Think I got out of that one quite nicely thankyou.


I don’t think the kids are all that impressed with my singing capabilities. Dancing round the kitchen to Love is a Battlefield and singing into a tin opener attracted some ‘god you’re embarrassing Mum’ looks. Good job the teen wasn’t there. He would have spontaneously combusted from the absolute shame of having such a saddo for a Mum. Like that time at I went to a work do with Mum and she got up to dance to Status Quo. Always that same cringy dance and air guitar – for the love of god – with Bob the van guy.


OMG the little lady was quiet for a while today. Suspiciously quiet. When I checked there seemed to be nothing untoward going on. Maybe my own paranoia? Nope. Big nope. I should have learned by now to always trust my instinct. On getting her changed for bed, the realisation came that orange felt pen was covering the lower half of her body. Like some sort of half-human half-Oompa Loompa mash up. “Why did you do that?” I asked. “Just wanted to see what it looked like” she said like it was a perfectly normal thing to do. I tried the good old baby wipes. Wouldn’t come off. Tried showering. Wouldn’t come off. Tried alcohol gel. Wouldn’t bloody come off. I’ve resigned myself to having a half orange kid for a while.

 

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