Help Wanted

There was once a Mum, a Mum who regularly cursed herself for forgetting to remove the washing from the washing machine and it had part dried in stinky, damp dish rag style so she had to wash it all again. Anyway, one day this Mum was minding her own business, putting all manner of crap … More Help Wanted

The Stain

Just to add a bit of context to the story it’s set in the 80’s and absolutely not about my brother and I.* *It is. Once upon a time there was a Mum, a Mum who was a little shouty at times but always kind and quick to offer a hug. She had 2 children … More The Stain

The Broken Arm

Now anyone who comes to read my nonsense knows that I just cannot take anything seriously, so whilst this is a true story I have put a humerus (see what I did there 😉) spin on it for your benefit and mine. It wasn’t funny at the time but if I teach my kids anything … More The Broken Arm

The Missing Plates

Once upon a time there was a Mum, an ordinary bog standard Mum with a sunny disposition (her hair was always a bit shit though, much to her dismay). One morning she got out of bed ready to face the day ahead and proceeded to trot downstairs to make herself a special cup of ‘Wake … More The Missing Plates

The Buttery Puppy

“Help me!” I was sat in the garden, minding my own business, soaking up the sun in my shit cut off at the knee with a pair of kitchen scissors, hole in the arse jogging bottoms when I heard it. Kids messing about? Woman calling her husband with heavy shopping? Something more sinister? I sat … More The Buttery Puppy