Imagine the worst hangover you’ve ever had. The bed is spinning one way, the room the other. Your head is banging like a steel drum band. You feel sick again but you’re scared to move, there’s a bucket on the floor next to you and your tongue is stuck to roof of your mouth like … More No, I Don’t Want A Drink Thanks
“Help me!” I was sat in the garden, minding my own business, soaking up the sun in my shit cut off at the knee with a pair of kitchen scissors, hole in the arse jogging bottoms when I heard it. Kids messing about? Woman calling her husband with heavy shopping? Something more sinister? I sat … More The Buttery Puppy
This time last year I wrote this open letter to my children about my decision to change my hours at work to full time. I thought I’d write an update to it now I’ve lived it for a while. Is it working for me? Well, no is the short answer. I don’t think it is. … More I Will Not Feel Guilty
Inspired by Daddy Poppins recent child free holiday to Ibiza I remembered my own visit. There I was, San Antonio 2002, let loose for a week, my Dad had my little boy and it was going to be the best holiday ever. Right? Well, not really. A simple throwaway comment threw me completely. I was … More The Throwaway Comment
Now I’m not one of those nutters who professes to be able to cure depression in 24 easy steps, this is purely meant as a light hearted post when you’ve had a bad day whether that’s grumpy shouty people at work, nightmare at home with the kids trying to drown each other in the downstairs … More Bad Day? No Way!
Look how fat I was. Just look. Can you see it? Nah, me neither. It’s one of those photos that you show someone and they say “oh wow, look how tiny you were” leaving the “what happened?” unsaid, hanging in in the air. I spent that holiday in Gran Canaria plus several years before and … More Fat Like I Was At Fifteen
I love my children and I love being a Mum. Like most parents I often doubt how good I am at it though. My confidence seems to have buggered off on holiday and is currently getting smashed in a bar in Ibiza, dancing to the Macarena & fending off pissed up admirers who’ve had a … More Anyone Seen My Confidence?
❄️ Open the curtains, look outside and see a rectangular lump of snow where the car should be. Decide that even though other cars have attempted to get out of the cul-de-sac on a hill and I quite fancy a day off I don’t really want it to be because I’m dead. ❄️ Choose to risk a … More Getting To Work In The Snow
When I was at school being 40 was ancient, anything after that and you were practically dead. You were boring, wore corduroy and drank Horlicks at bedtime, we thought. Oh how the tables have turned. I am finding myself fast approaching 40 and have no idea how to celebrate it. Well, actually that’s a fib, … More Friends For My Fortieth?
I didn’t learn to drive until I was 27. I was never really interested nor could I afford it being a single parent but I managed to scrape the money every week and spend an hour with a man with an inate ability to talk non stop for an hour and not breathe. He didn’t … More The Poor Purple Corsa